Know What Your Bike Needs? Balls.

Enough with all of the frivolities, here is the one bike product you really need.

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Bike Balls

Image capture: Bike Balls.

We’ve all been there. You’re getting ready for a nighttime ride across town, hooking up your lights and strapping on your reflective accessories when suddenly that old, familiar longing sets in. As you clip your rear light to your seatpost where it will predictably blink away like an illuminated square of tedium, you just can’t help but think to yourself, “Man, I wish this light was shaped like a nutsack.”

Well, long no more, your prayers have been answered.

A reader tipped us off this morning to the existence of Bike Balls, and I’m sure you’ll be as delighted as I am by the opportunity to increase your traffic visibility with a high-grade silicone scrotum. “Bike Balls naturally bob-around while you ride, boosting your visibility and safety in a hilarious way,” reads the website of the most necessary product to hit the cycling industry since the invention of wheels.

It’s Truck Nutz for the sustainable urban commuter. I never thought I’d see the day.

The Bike Balls have three modes – solid, slow flashing, and fast flashing – and are turned on or toggled between modes by a gentle squeeze of the nuts. Perfect for biking to and from work!

As of press time, the folks over at Bike Balls only make the one rear light. But in the interest of gender equity I can only assume the front light, when it does arrive, will be shaped like boobs and turned on by a flick of the nipple.

To learn more visit


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